Rambling on ….. ranting ….. sometimes you just need to vent hoping someone understands.

I don’t get out much since the pandemic began, not sure 🤔 who is safe to be around. My eye sight is not as good as it used to be, therefore I do not drive and go places much. Sometimes I am so lonely I could cry. Maybe it’s of my own making, maybe it’s an inner turmoil, and maybe it’s a feeling of being unloved.

It doesn’t matter what you call it, feelings are real. People, especially family, don’t seem to understand. They are too wrapped up in themselves and their phones to even notice.

I was able to borrow my daughter’s car yesterday, so I went for a drive. I checked my mailbox 📫, mostly junk, but it needed cleared out. Later I went and visited a friend I hadn’t seen in person for two years. It felt good.

My daughter texted and asked if I was okay since I was in the same area for a couple hours. I hadn’t realized I was on a time limit with her car. Who knew? Not me.

I said to her I was visiting a friend. She replied “Huh, a friend????” That was like a slap in my face, as if she didn’t think I had any friends. True most of my friends I only communicate with online nowadays, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any friends at all. It makes me sad that she thinks I have no one, not a single friend.

After her text, I left my friend’s home and headed back “home”. I say “home” in quotation marks because I get reminded all the time it is not my home. I’ve just been staying there for the past two years taking care of my grandson, but I can’t call it home according to them.

After all that, I arrived back to find out she wasn’t even home. So then I wonder why was she so concerned about his long I was gone. After all she said I could use her car. I think she thought I would only check my mail & come straight back. I guess I surprised her when I didn’t.

Today, I’m sitting all alone in room. She hasn’t checked on me, texted me, or anything. At times like this it seems, to me, I don’t exist to her.

Enough ranting… I know God loves me and cares for me. I’ll be alright.

God bless. Be a friend. Let people know you care about them. Show others love and kindness.

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